Monday, February 18, 2013

"When We Are Not Able to Paint"

Tears were in my eyes when I left my parents in Beijing. Holding my father's skinny hands and looking at his misshaped face, both of us were getting emotional. He might have wondered if this were the last time we were together. Those a couple of months. I saw he suffered. I did the best I could do, but wondering how much would have been really effective. My mother looked very tired and overburdened. She has to face all the challenges during the time I am not able to be with her.

Reality is reality. Now I am back to the States, facing to the other part of my life. I am so happy seeing Song and Jonathan again. It has been hard on them when I was on the other side of world.

Real life likes a sharp knife, slicing and dicing our time and energy into smaller and smaller pieces. I found it becomes more and more difficult to do paintings, even small daily's. I am not alone. So many artists nowadays are facing this challenge. Should we give up now? Well, I leave the answer to you.

Now, I am on the road all the time. In the airport, or in my hotel rooms, I see my time gets chopped. On my way back from Beijing to Austin. I have to wait in SF airport for more than 4 hours. I found several small pieces of paper from my previous hotel stays, and a pen. I turned on my laptop and copied some of the images I like. They took very short time. and they are kind of cute.  It will definitely help my composition. This is at least one method to keep my art going in this difficult time.


Unknown said...

Best wishes for you and your family. You should carry a sketchbook with you.

Johan said...

Just follow your heart.
Chances are that it will tell you to never, ever give up being creative (wether it's painting, drawing, playing music, etc)

I know I recently picked up my own brushes after a hiatus of almost 3 months. Except for painting twice a week at the academy, I hadn't done a single painting since november due to family issues. Once I did, I felt relieved.

Perhaps some good things will happen in your life soon, and you will be happy holding a brush again.

Stephanie Berry said...

How hard it must be to travel so far and say goodbye to your parents. Your work is always so beautiful--love your small drawings. May you be blessed to find time open up for your painting again.

Teressa Sliger said...

Wonderful drawings! As Maike stated "you should carry a sketchbook", but I am so glad that you shared your drawings! My prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time.

Unknown said...

You communicate the essence of life so candidly and with insight that I find your honesty refreshing. You have the gift of holding sorrow and joy simultaneously--one of life's greatest challenges. Keep writing!


silentwitness said...

I love these drawings--your marks have energy and conviction and are so well placed! I share your sorrow at leaving aging parents, at a far distance. It is an all-consuming heart-wrenching experience. Even the worries from afar, trying to take care of them from afar, and feeling unable to keep everyone well, and happy. Having said this, I believe that your skill, vision and passion will always lead back to painting. Not just painting, but poetic painting--one of a kind! Whether your energy can permit it now is another question. Your energy, passion, and creative ideas will return when you are rested and can possibly compartmentalize (mentally) your complex obligations. I love your work, and hold you in very high esteem as an amazing and gifted person.

Leo Wahyudi S said...

Mr. Huang, reading your words is so touchy. i can imagine how your very moment with your parents. i have even been years 'idle' and produced no painting..but you inspire me. you are not alone. i am very fond of your works. remarkable!!i spend times flipping through your blog for the last two years.

Meredith Adler said...

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and speaking so eloquently about your personal dilemmas. I SO know that feeling that whatever I am doing, I should be doing something else; wherever I am, there's another place I also need/want to be, other people I need/want to be with. I agree, our lives are so "chopped up." Please do know that wherever you are, whatever you are doing, your paintings and drawing are always inspirational. You are touching many people, even those of us you have never met!