This is a painting I created recently. You might have noticed from my recent paintings that I have gradually lost my style and even identity. The painterly brush works and the dramatical ways of using light are disappearing.
Here is the reason. I reviewed my art career and found that I have been spending more time as a teacher than as a student. I have found that so many things in art I don't know. The month of July is very special for me. I have not arranged any outside activities. The only thing I want to do is to paint and learn. You have seen I painted so many new things the first time recently: lotus, detailed trees, aspens, and rocks. I will keep on trying new things.
Since my sickness, I have realized that all things related to my ego, like reputation and so called "success" are actually meaningless. Moreover, It is not only meaningless, but a stronger ego is more harmful. Because the ego is the source of all suffering. Most of us live our lives based on a false belief that we are individuals separated from each other, and have a limited time on this planet. We are not perfect, so we need to work hard to improve ourselves. So our ego grows day-by-day. We feel that is the major motivation and that is the meaning of our lives. Now I don't believe this anymore.
