Tuesday, November 8, 2011
"Demo at Rosenberg 2"
Now I have finished my 2011 workshop teaching. It is a good time to calm down and examine myself as an artist, and a new entrepreneur, as a dreamer, and as practitioner.... most important, as a human being. Last night I had a dream. I dreamed I was in a hurry to attend a very important event (but I don't know what is was) in a far away place. I just had an old bicycle not going very fast. I was so out of shape and my legs were so weak. I tried all my might, but just could not pedal the bike fast enough. I was exhausted, zigzag out of balance, but my destination is far beyond reaching..... I think this reveals the worry in my mind. I have no right to complain because I am far more fortunate than many many people in the world. But I do have some wishful thinking. I wish life is much simpler. I wish I can be less busy. I wish I could paint more. I feel I have entered a difficult phase of my art development. There is a demon growing with my art and trying to destroy my art and my life. Fighting this demon takes a lot of my energy and time. I have seen more and more time I lost my battle now. If you see my art is not in good shape, that indicates I am dealing with the demon. However, I will keep going. I can't guarantee I can make it, but I will keep going.