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Yesterday, Song and I had a serious talk about my art. We sat in front my computer screen browsing through hundreds of my painting images. She told me she felt that my recent paintings are not as good as my older works, and some of her friends also felt the same way. Many of my recent works look unfinished and too abstract. I feel happy we had conversation like this, I agree with her and feel grateful that she kept my sanity checked. Painting really shows the artist's mental stage. We can't hide and disguise. I have to say my mind is not in a very stable and positive stage lately. Too many things happening. I have been traveling to too many places. I feel the stress and fatigue. I start to worry about future, and inevitably pay attention more on the commercial side of my art career. This is my third year of being a full time artist. Comparing with my previous engineering job, I do make less and work much more. I do not regret the decision I made in June 2011. I have been feeling happy being able to follow my heart and chase my dream. However, the real journey is rather difficult. The third year is really a test. I don't have the beginner's luck anymore. There will be more growing pain I need to endure, and more challenges need to be faced. I really want to thank Song and Jonathan for their love and support. They give me the courage to keep going.
I remember hearing a song. The lyric is like this:
"You do not know how to face it, but you have no way back.
You will stick to it until the last minute, for keeping the life going."
My today's painting is less experimental. Feels more like the good old days.