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I have been back to China for about a week. I did not go anywhere since my father needs attention all the time. We have a living-in maid to take care him and other chores, but she happen to be off for a while to take care of her own family issues. My father has lost the control of his body. He does everything in bed now. Being sick for a long time, he became very very skinny. I can see his skeleton very clearly. All I have learned from human anatomy study has demonstrated vividly right in front of me. Lying there with pain and all kinds of problems, my father now is the best teacher showing me about life. I feel sad, shocked, and frustrated. Human suffering is inevitable. No matter how rich and famous we are, we never can escape from aging, sickness, and death. The colorlessness of my recent paintings did show my current feeling. On the other hand, my father has also shown me that the time is very very short. I will just like my father or even worse in the future not long from now. I better not wast any minutes I have now. Our maid is coming back soon. I hope our life will get a little better then.